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What do languages *sound like*?

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Having occupied myself with languages for most of my life, both professionally and by avocation, I’ve had the chance to learn a handful, encounter many, and speak with people about them all over the world.

Every now and then a discussion crops up about this or that language being attractive, another language being harsh and unattractive. Dutch and German particularly tend often to fall on the cacophonous side.

I think German in particular gets a bad rap for sounding rough and bellicose because of the actions and people it was associated with during the last century. I’m convinced that the relative sound of a language is entirely dependent on what we’re used to. You want harsh? Listen to a Poujadiste screaming at a tax collector. There are sounds in Arabic that make German sound positively musical. As for German, have a listen to Mozart’s “Ruhe Sanft” aria, and you’ll hear true beauty.

On the other hand, even as early as the 1500’s Emperor Charles V may have codified the sound of certain languages (I say “may have,” because the only source is secondary – Girolamo Fabrizi d’Acquapendente’s 1601 “De Locutione”):

Latin:
Unde solebat, ut audio, Carolus V Imperator dicere, Germanorum linguam esse militarem: Hispanorum amatoriam: Italorum oratoriam: Gallorum nobilem. Alius vero, qui Germanus erat, retulit, eundem Carolum Quintum dicere aliquando solitum esse; Si loqui cum Deo oporteret, se Hispanice locuturum, quod lingua Hispanorum gravitatem maiestatemque prae se ferat; si cum amicis, Italice, quod Italorum dialectus familiaris sit; si cui blandiendum esset, Gallice, quod illorum lingua nihil blandius; si cui minandum aut asperius loquendum, Germanice, quod tota eorum lingua minax, aspera sit ac vehemens.

English:
“When Emperor Charles V used to say, as I hear, that the language of the Germans was military; that of the Spaniards pertained to love; that of the Italians was oratorical; that of the French was noble. Indeed another, who was German, related that the same Charles V sometimes used to say: if it was necessary to talk with God, that he would talk in Spanish, which language suggests itself for the graveness and majesty of the Spaniards; if with friends, in Italian, for the dialect of the Italians was one of familiarity; if to caress someone, in French, for no language is tenderer than theirs; if to threaten someone or to speak harshly to them, in German, for their entire language is threatening, rough and vehement.”

These sources distilled themselves over time into the shorter, but misattributed quote, “I speak Spanish to God, Italian to Women, French to Men, and German to my Horse.”

It must be remembered that these characterizations were being supposedly made from the point of view of a native Spanish speaker.

Is it possible that some languages sound harsh because of certain intrinsic linguistic qualities? Not only possible, it’s documented. I first heard the “Bouba/Kiki” Effect in 1978 when it was presented at a linguistics conference by Adam Makkai, although he used the 1946 variants of “Maluma” and “Takete”.

250px-Booba-Kiki.svg

When shown these two figures and asked to identify which one is “maluma” and which one is “takete” – and the words are presented in such a way as to avoid immediate association of one word with one figure – 88% of normally-developing individuals will associate the jagged shape with “takete” and the softer shape as “maluma.” (people on the autistic spectrum only 56% for some reason.) From these experiments it is evident that some linguistic sounds (typically stops, gutterals, affricates, and back vowels) are considered “harder” and others (liquids, glides, and front vowels) are considered “softer.”

Have a look at Tolkien’s linguistic creations:

Elvish:

Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen,
Yéni únótime ve radar aldaron!

Black speech:

Ash nazg durbatulûk,
ash nazg gimbatul
ash nazg thrakatulûk
agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

You need have no understanding of these synthetic languages whatsoever to imagine that the speakers of the first one might live in a world of softness and light.

cate-blanchett-elf-queen-006

The other? “Ashes and dust and thirst there is, and pits, pits, pits.”

250px-Gimbatulash

So there is justification for considering languages that use these kinds of sounds as being harsh and angular in feel, but when we are raised with a language, these considerations tend to become less important, or not important at all; those who do not concern themselves with literature, song, or poetry generally do not think about what their own language sounds like. And where there exist linguistic theories that the language we speak molds our world view and hence our personalities, there are no socio-linguistic absolutes: I know some really unpleasant French speakers, and some truly lovely Dutchmen.

Today I saw the question, “What does English sound like to people who don’t speak it?” The best representation I’ve seen of that is a delightful video by Adriano Celetano – “Prisencolinensinainciusol.”

The Old Wolf has spoken.



From INTERPOL? No, I don’t think so.

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Another scam email from Benin. These boys are busy.

Subject: FROM THE DESK OF MR. MICHAEL DEEN International Police Interpol USA

From: INTERPOL POLICE <interpolgeneralofpoliceforce@gmail.com>

To: undisclosed-recipients:;

FROM THE DESK OF MR. MICHAEL DEEN

International Police Interpol USA

Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that Series of meetings have been held over the past (1) Week now with the Secretary General of the United Nations Organization United State of America, which ended 2 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is now in the amount of $11,000,000.00 USD (Eleven Million United States Dollars) as a compensation award to you, due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held your fund to themselves for their Selfish reasons and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to unnecessary delay in the receipt and so many losses from your end.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI USA/ IMF International Police Interpol USA, have successfully finalize to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you who have been found not to have received their Compensation Awards. Now, how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two Method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $5000.00 USD (Five Thousand Dollars) Per day from any ATM Machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 3 years time which is 2017. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your Local Bank Account. Even if you do not have a Bank Account, the ATM card comes with a Handbook or Manual to Enlighten you about how to use it.

Check: A cashier check will be issued in your name and you will deposit it in your Bank for it to be Cleared within three Working Days. your payment would be sent to you via any of your Preferred Option above and would be Mailed to you Via UPS, because we have Signed a contract with UPS which Should expire (29TH) of March. 2015, You will only need to Pay $41.00 Honestly, I have confirmed that this is the Devil Work after all the Effort you made and thing are becoming so more Difficult well, I must confess that you have tried so much because it is not easy I know how much you have send in other to get this done please, do some thing over this to avoid Had I know because, the United State of America Government USA, will come into this Matter very soon and your Compensation Funds will be Transfer into the United State of America Government Account.

Take note that you will have to Stop Communication with every Other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $41 Dollars nothing more! Nothing less! And we Guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 48hrs after confirmation receipt of UPS fee of $41 Dollars). Note: Everything has been taken care of, including Taxes, Custom Paper and Clearance Duty. So, all you will ever need to pay is $41 Dollars.

secondly, you should know that Argument or delay can not do any thing or solve this problem if you can not find solution to solve this matter by trying your possible best for the final conclusion of this Transaction and send only $41.00 Right Away it means that i have no Other Option than to make down my Report. Note that you have been advice to urgently proceed to the Western Union or Money Gram and send the only required fee of $41 Dollars to our Branch payment Receiver Agent EMMA OBADI, COTONOU /BENIN, and get back to us with the MTCN.

RECEIVERS NAME: EMMA OBADI
COUNTRY/CITY: COTONOU / BENIN
AMOUNT TO SEND $41.00 DOLLARS ONLY.
TEXT QUESTION: IN GOD
ANSWER: WE ALWAYS TRUST
M.T.C#……..

Kindly get back to us as well with the MTCN and also be advice to reconfirm your full Delivery Address to avoid any Wrong Delivery of package. Apply Your Claims Promptly: For immediate release of your fund valued at $11,000,000.00 USD (Eleven Million United States Dollars) to you, you should contact our correspondent.

Your Full Name:________________________________
Your House Address:_________________________
Home/Cell/Phone Number:___________________
Choose ONE Preferable Payment Method (Visa ATM Card OR Cashier Check):_____________

Your package will be sent to you within 2 working Days upon confirmation receipt of UPS fee of $41.00 Dollars. We are so sure of everything and we are giving you a 100% Money back Guarantee if you do not Receive payment/package within the next 48hrs after you have made the payment for Shipping.

Thanks and God Bless You

Regards

MICHAEL DEEN
Chief Investigation Unit Department
International Police Interpol USA

  • You can safely ignore any email addressed to “undisclosed recipients.” It’s not to you. It’s a mass-mailing
  • INTERPOL will never contact you from Benin. There’s ample evidence that people from Nigeria and Benin have been collaborating with these scams for over a decade.
  • NEVER send money to strangers anywhere, in Africa or the US or anywhere else, via Western Union, MoneyGram, or Green Dot Money Pak Card. Ever. Just don’t.

Be careful out there and protect your loved ones.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


An especially convincing Phishing scam

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Here’s the email that came to me yesterday:

Image1

  1. Notice that it appears to come from “Paypal.com,”  However, the original sender was 23.249.163.109 (if even that’s not spoofed) which is in Buffalo, NY rather than PayPal’s headquarters which is in California.
  2. Second, the message is an image rather than text. That’s a red flag right there. The images link back to:

These are definitely nothing linked to PayPal. So we know even without any further examination that we are dealing with a phishing scam.

The image itself, if you click on it, will lead you to a long URL which actually contains the email address that their phishing email was sent to. If you click on these links, they know who you are.

http://redirect.paypal.com.0.session&#8230;..=MyEmailAddress@comcast.net

Image2

So notice that when you get to the phishing website, they already have your email address. This is what makes the scam more credible – they’re not asking for your PayPal ID, because they are counting on the fact that you use your same email address as your PayPal address, and they already have that.

If you foolishly enter your password, the first thing you’ll see is this bit of misdirection:

Image3

But that’s just a clever bit of misdirection. So you try again, and this is what you get next:

Image4

Which soon passes to:

Image5

And off to the races we go.

REMEMBER: Banks or PayPal or other financial institutions will NEVER ask you to verify information like this via email. All such requests are SCAMS.

When I check out websites like this (don’t try this at home – you could also be picking up a lot of malware if you’re not properly protected), I usually enter really insulting phrases for names, cities, and so forth. It’s a small thing, but it’s really the only way I can get under the skins of these criminals.

Image6

That billing address is nothing I would ever want to repeat in polite company – but notice that the scammers are trying to make their victim think they already have a credit card on file, and you’re just supposed to verify it.

Image7

So again I give them some bogus information that could never be used as a real card or be used to hurt anyone else.

Image8

The last screen will redirect the victim, once they have handed over their sensitive information to thieves, to the real PayPal website. Notice however – nothing else on the page works. All the other links are non-existent.

This scam is well-contrived enough that I fear any number of people will be taken in.

The most important thing to remember is that, as I said before, PayPal will NEVER ask you to give up sensitive financial information like this through an email message.

Be careful out there, and protect your loved ones.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


RTFM, and never trust the dealer.

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2007-toyota-prius-5dr-hb-natl-angular-front-exterior-view_100271619_s
Eight years.

Eight years of frustration could have been avoided had I simply taken the trouble to read my 2007 Prius’ Owner’s Manual when I bought the thing.

Now, I love my Prius. I hope it lasts forever because she’s been really good to me. But it has a few annoying quirks, and one of my biggest complaints was that with the smart key system, you touch the driver’s side door and the driver’s side door unlocks – but only that one. (Touching the other doors would unlock all of them, but I wouldn’t generally do that when using the car alone.)

I’d get in, go to work, and then try to get in the back door or the hatchback to get a briefcase or something, and the door was still locked. A first world problem to be sure, but when it’s raining out, it was a major pain to have to get back in the front door, press the “unlock button,” and then be able to open the other doors. Finally my patience had worn thin enough that I decided to see if it could be fixed.

I called the dealership where I bought the car (now 60 miles away), and asked them if this feature could be programmed. The first lady I spoke to said, “Sure, just bring it in.” Wonderful! Then my cynicism meter redlined, and I called a Toyota dealership closer to me. “No,” they said, “no, that function cannot be changed.”

BS Meter

Dang. Whom to trust? I called the first dealership back again, and explained what the other had said. I didn’t want to drive all the way up there only to be told, “Oh, we were wrong.” I got a plate of waffles this time: “Well, we need to have you come up and have the technician hook up his computer and see if your vehicle allows for that function before we’ll know for sure. The diagnostic charge will be $ABunchOfMoney, and if he can change the function, it will be $ALotMore.” Thank you, I appreciate your time. Click.

Good thing I didn’t drive all the way up based on the first “Sure, we can do that.” Now what to do? Once again I put it on the back burner.

About a month later, I decided to do some more searching on the internet, and  I finally discovered this video. Fully half of it is advertising, and the remainder is almost unwatchable, but props to whomever made it because it led me to a solution. The first thing I noticed was that the kid in the video had pulled out the Owner’s Manual. At that point I stopped watching the Cloverfield-style camera work, and went to drag out my own.

Really? You mean, the answer might just be in the Owner’s Manual?

The 2007 Prius has a slightly different manual than the 2008 shown in the video, but sure enough, after a bit of searching I found something in the “Smart Entry and Start System” section; I had to hunt around because the index in the manual was probably written by a drunken lemur pay attention Toyota.

manual

So it turns out that if I held down the “lock” and “panic” button together for about 5 seconds, the car makes a bunch of beeps and the unlocking pattern rotates to the next option in the cycle. Done. Free. Heaven knows how much Dealer A would have charged me, or if they would have even been able to figure it out themselves.

I’ve learned a couple of lessons here.

Lesson 1: If I ever buy a new car, I’ll be sure to Read The Freaking Manual cover-to-cover and take notes. Yesterday as I was happily telling my wife about my triumph, she noted with her usual dry wit that I might even discover other wonderful things if I were to do so with this one. Make it so.

rtfm

Lesson 2: Never trust a car dealership to tell you the absolute truth. Some will outright lie to you, and others just won’t know. Dealer 1 told me that they could fix my problem just to get me in the shop, without even really knowing if the issue was fixable or not. Dealer 2 was ignorant. In the interest of fairness, folks who work in such places are just people; car models change every year, each car has a myriad of different features, and it would be hard for even a top service technician to keep abreast of all of them. Moreover, after 8 years there’s a high probability that the folks working there have only been on the job for a few years and don’t know as much about “older models.” That said, there is a certain expectation of competence when one reaches out to a dealership, so I was left with some residual disappointment that nobody bothered to give me accurate information.

But I’m pleased. A small burr has been removed from under my saddle, and the relief is palpable.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


In later years, Gandalf became quite the hit at parties.

If Senators spoke at home they way they do in Congress

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Gluyas Williams 20 - Senators Talking at Home

With thanks to the beloved Gluyas Williams. 1920.

Not much has changed in the last 100 years or so…

The Old Wolf has spoken.


The Punt Gun – otherwise known as “dynamite fishing for waterfowl”

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6j1r2kh

Matthew Quigley would probably have messed his pants had he been able to see this. Such a contraption seems to put his Sharp’s Buffalo Gun to shame, although it was designed for an entirely different purpose.

These guns were so large and their recoil so powerful that they were generally affixed to small hunting watercraft (punts); the force of the discharge would often drive the punt backwards a considerable distance.

gunboat

Use of a gun of this nature makes the small craft look like a duck-hunting battleship. While the idea is to be able to kill large numbers of waterfowl at once for commercial hunting enterprises, one wonders if a weapon of this nature would not be more likely to atomize its target!

The Wikipedia article indicates that the use of punt guns in large fleets led to depletion of wild game, and that in the early 20th century market hunting was outlawed, making the use of these weapons either illegal or impractical.

The title of this post refers to blast fishing, almost always illegal because it’s unsportsmanlike, dangerous to the environment, and dangerous for those who attempt it.

The above idiots were lucky that they didn’t lose hands, arms, or heads.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


D’Agostino Brothers

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Just a bit of random history about a New York icon, D’Agostino grocery stores.

tumblr_nmgof2BGK31qbu2iso1_500

From New York Magazine, 1973 Vol. 6, No. 23

We had one right next door to our apartment building entrance on 85th street and Lexington Avenue back in the 50s. At the time they called themselves “D’Agostino Bros.”

d'agostino bros 1959

Still going strong.

The Old Wolf has spoken.



The case against lead

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Lead-Poisoning

“Mad as a hatter,” went the expression. Alice’s tea party featured “The Mad Hatter,” whose felting work involved prolonged exposure to mercury vapors, resulting in tremors, pathological shyness and irritability.

We still hear a lot about asbestos – it remains on the radar of most Americans, simply because there’s still a lot of it out there in old buildings, and many times a large abatement project will pop up on the news.

We hear less about lead and lead poisoning, however, since lead-based paint was banned in the US in 1978; before that, many children developed signs of lead poisoning, particularly inner-city kids who would ingest paint flakes that had lead added. Lead was completely eliminated from automotive fuels by 1996.

But it appears that lead is still a serious threat; effects of past exposure may include an increase in crime rates, and current exposure through shooting ranges threatens to continue the negative consequences.

Gathered here are a number of articles which should be read and considered, particularly by anyone who works around ammunition; sportspeople, shooters, law-enforcement officers, reloaders, and the like. It is up to the individual to make their own assessments, but from where I sit, it would not be unreasonable to lay at least partial blame for the seeming descent of our society into madness and uncivility on the pervasiveness of lead in our environment.

Read and judge.

Portrait_of_Clair_Cameron_Patterson

Clair Cameron Patterson. From the Wikipedia article:

Patterson had first encountered lead contamination in the late 1940s as a graduate student at the University of Chicago. His work on this led to a total re-evaluation of the growth in industrial lead concentrations in the atmosphere and the human body, and his subsequent campaigning was seminal in the banning of tetraethyllead ingasoline, and lead solder in food cans.

Patterson met significant opposition for his views, particularly from people such as Robert A. Kehoe, the principal advocate for the use of tetraethyllead as an anti-knock agent in gasoline. In contrast to the “Precautionary Principle” which assumes that there is potential risk to a substance unless proven otherwise, Kehoe claimed that “in the absence of clear evidence of risk there is no risk of significance.” This later came to be called the Kehoe Paradigm, and is essentially the same cognitive dissonance used by tobacco executives in their fight to convince the world that their product was not harmful.

Bryson-Robert-Kehoe-226x300

Robert A. Kehoe

At The Nation, an article entitled “The Secret History of Lead.”

At The Atlantic, a treatise on how the lead industry convinced the public and the media that parents were to blame rather than the toxic substance that they were profiting from:

The lead industry even claimed that the problem was not with the paint but with the “uneducable Negro and Puerto Rican” parents who “failed” to stop children from placing their fingers and toys in their mouths.

Recently, a four-part investigative series at the Seattle Times: “Lead poisoning is a major threat at America’s shooting ranges, perpetuated by owners who’ve repeatedly violated laws even after workers have fallen painfully ill.”

And lastly, an essay at Mother Jones linking gasoline lead to a rise in violent crime. This article does its best to be balanced and rational rather than sensationalistic, and deserves to be considered.

20150412_214643

One pound of lead. The CDC has set the standard elevated blood lead level for adults to be 10 µg/dl of the whole blood. This means that one pound of lead is sufficient to elevate lead levels of 8,247,134 adults. This stuff is rutting toxic.

There are a lot of unanswered questions, and a lot more research would need to be done over time to gain further insight into these ideas. But one thing is clear – people who work at or around shooting ranges need to be extra, extra careful and consider possible ramifications of their exposure to lead.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Another INTERPOL Threat

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Another scam from Benin.

NEVER RESPOND TO SILLY EMAILS LIKE THIS. If you are contacted out of the blue by someone who wants you to wire money by Western Union to anywhere in the world, it’s a SCAM. Delete such messages. NEVER SEND MONEY BY WESTERN UNION TO ANYONE UNKNOWN TO YOU.

No, Interpol is not after me. No, I won’t send them any money.

Subject: Urgent Attention,
From: INTERPOL POLICE <interpolgeneralofpoliceforce@gmail.com>
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001
FBI OFFICE Washington, DC

INTERPOL is the world’s largest international police organization, with 190 ? member countries. Our role is to enable police around the world to work together to make the world a safer place. Our high-tech infrastructure of technical and operational support helps meet the growing challenges of fighting crime in the 21st century.

Urgent Attention,

We have this morning discovered that you have been making foreign legal transactions with Western Unions, Money Grams, Diplomatic Agents and Banks with West African Countries (Benin, Nigeria, Ghana etc.). We went further with the investigations we found out that you don’t have Money Laundering Clearance Certificate, which is a major Federal Offence. You have violated the World Federal Law, which constituted against smuggling of large amount of money and trafficking of drug e.t.c., without having Money Laundering Clearance Certificate before you commenced the transaction. You want to receive such huge amount of money from UPS DHL FEDEX WESTERN UNION AND MONEY GRAM HEAD Quater Benin Republic which is a foreign Delivery. Meanwhile we have stopped the Delivery, not only the ATM CARD was stopped but the total Transaction of the sum of ($10.2million dollars )

Furthermore, be advised that according to the World Wide Law Enforcement Agency together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) Benin Republic which is the origin of the fund in question. Also Note that you are to take care of the documentation to be issued to you right away, because due to the content of the document and how importance and secured the document is, you are to take care of the document by sending them the sum of $90.00 US Dollars only to the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission Benin Republic for issuing of the document right away and your payment will be release to you. That is the only way the Economic and Financial Crime Commission Benin Republic will issue you the document, because they are going to issue you the Authentic and Original copy of the documents.

Note that your rights are limited; anything you SAY or DO will be used as evidence against you in the court of Law. You have the full rights to remain silent and obey the Law. Don’t think we don’t know you or your address. We will get you arrested if you fail to provide the document or pay for it to be obtained from Benin Republic. The Arrest Warrant can only be withdrawn once the document is obtained. There are three charges against you, which are:

1. Smuggling of a huge amount of money into your country without Money Laundering Clearance Certificate is a violation to Federal Law. 2. Smuggling of a huge amount of money into your country without a proper documentation is a violation 2003 Federal Constitution, otherwise, called illegal transaction. 3. it’s a Conspiracy, a Criminal Attempt and Disobedience to the Federal Law, which will eventually lead you to 5-year imprisonment.

You Should Send The Money Direct To The Country Of Origin Of The Fund In Question:

Country: Benin Republic
State/City: Cotonou
Text Q.: info
Answer: Yes
Amount;;;;;;$90
Receiver Name: FELIS IKE
Sender name: and MTCN is needed;

Once, you make the payment, attach and send to us the copy of the payment slip for verification before sending it to the Economic Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) Benin Republic.

WARNING: Failure to pay for this documentation is a confirmation that you wanted to smuggle the funds into the country which is a federal offense and a gross violation of the Patriot Act and legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you and if found guilty, you will be jailed As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today. The UNITED STATE INTERPOL world’s largest international police organization will not stop at any length in tracing you down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act.

Sign:General Shawn A. Bray, head of the Central Investigation Bureau UNITED STATE INTERPOL world’s largest international police organization

FBI WEB SITE http://www.fbi.gov/
interpol site http://www.justice.gov/
Supreme Court of United State

Still haven’t figured out what’s up over in Africa; I haven’t gotten a single scam letter from Nigeria in a dog’s age – all of these drones claim to be operating out of Benin, just next door. Whatever the case, it’s still the same scammers running the same tired old scam.

Be careful out there, and protect your loved ones.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Do it yourself: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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About 15 years ago I bought this Braun shaver, and it served me well for at least 15 years. The rechargeable batteries finally wore out, and I wondered if it would be worth trying to replace them myself rather than pay an appliance repairman ten prices for the privilege.

How to open it? I found a totally useless article on eHow (typical of all these crowdsourced answer sites like WikiHow, FixYa, Yahoo! Answers, and so many others – the blind leading the rutting blind) and then figured out how to get the thing open myself. Once you do, getting to the guts is pretty easy – and the little electronic board with the batteries pops right out. Nice German engineering.

I bought a couple of new NiMH rechargeables, and set about replacing them. The beggar was that those batteries were not soldered to the board, the were spot-welded at the contact points… but with some careful work I was able to get them out.

Popped the new batteries in, and the whole board started to smoke and melt.

Crap. I must have put the new batteries in backwards or something. I thought I was doing it right.

20150415_164000

RIP Braun – It’s the component in the front that really lit up – what looks like burning under the left battery is just residue from the original adhesive.

So this particular attempt at DIY didn’t work out so well… but that’s how I learn. Over the last half-century, I’ve assembled enough handyman skills to install a bathroom into a totally unfinished space, and all of that experience came from just jumping in and doing it. I made mistakes along the way, but these days most things go pretty smoothly.

So I had to run out and get a new Braun (I feel very loyal to that brand, I’ve been using good Braun shavers since 1974, the first one bought in Austria) and hopefully this one will last me at least 15 years, by which time I’ll get my grandkids to buy me a new one for Christmas, so I won’t have to try this particular experiment again.

I’m sure there will be others.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


PS: Ah, the luscious smell of burning silicon…


Please do not share from these 10 Websites or Facebook Pages

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This is a condensation of an excellent article from DawnsBrain. I’ve summarized the ten here for easy consumption, but her complete article is worth a read.

DBRielly_LovePotionsAndSnakeOil

☛ TL;DR – these websites promote pseudoscientific woo¹, and are dangerous in that they lead people to shun and be afraid of science-based health and medicine. ☚

10) Alex Jones

Mr. Jones uses a ton of hyperbole, conspiracy theories, and a loose connection to reality, to whip up fear and loathing in his audience.

9) The Food Babe

Ms. Hari, the “Food Babe”, parrots Dr. Mercola and cobbles together cherry-picked blurbs from questionable studies and Wikipedia. She uses the term “investigation” to excuse the fact that she often gives medical advice without having any education in the life sciences. She picks the weirdest ingredients to go after.

#8 Eat Clean. Train Mean. Live Green.

Ms. McDonald mixes some common-sense dietary advice with a shot of “detox” and disordered eating, GMO and fluoride fearmongering, and pondering about chemtrails. She even claims that honey is medicine. Proof that even registered dietitians can be wacko.

#7 Dr. Joseph Mercola

Dr. Mercola, by virtue of his credentials and large fanbase, is possibly one of the most dangerous people on Facebook. Because he generates fear around science-based medicine, he discourages people from seeking real help for illness. He also scares people away from vaccinations, fluoride, GMO food, pasteurized dairy, and dental fillings. But you know, buy his line of supplements and all will be well.

#6 Prevention Magazine

Everyone that promotes “natural cures” above all else seems to jump from one cure-all to another. WebMD specifically states that there is insufficient evidence for at least three items on their list.

#5 NaturalNews.com

NaturalNews.com is arguably the most balls-to-the-wall looniest page on Facebook. They have never met a conspiracy theory they don’t love.

#4 Collective Evolution

All the misinformation, all the time.

#3 MindBodyGreen

The “conversations about health” are decidedly in favor of “natural remedies” that are not supported by scientific research. People who waste their time mucking about with ineffective alternative treatments often die much sooner.

#2 Spirit Science

Most of their posts are harmless new-agey spiritual stuff and kookiness. But sometimes they veer into unsupportable natural remedies and outright pseudoscience.

#1 The Mind Unleashed

They’re a good example of slipping in a bit of bullshit here and there amongst the standard viral Facebook stuff. There’s a theme of immature hippy-style mistrust of any and every authority. What are you rebelling against? What have you got?

Bonus Post

Ernest Hemingway coined the term Crap Detector to refer to the little mechanism that ought to be working inside each person’s brain.

The most certain way to develop this ability to discern truth from baloney is education. In particular, an education in science will help protect you from the charlatans and cranks of the world.

I highly recommend starting with one of the many free online resources, such as Crash Course: Biology, Crash Course: Chemistry, and Crash Course: Anatomy and Physiology.

Bonus 2:

Dawn did not mention him, but I personally would add Mehmet Oz to the list. A sad case of a classically-trained physician who has sold his reputation for a mess of pottage, and in his quest to find natural remedies has devolved into a pitchman for the most ridiculous and worthless products known to man.

Disclaimer: Even with education in the hard sciences, it’s wise to remember that not everything is known that can be known. Aspirin is a direct outgrowth of historical use of willow bark to treat fevers. I have a strong conviction that there are literally countless chemical compounds out in nature that remain to be discovered that can have beneficial effects on human health and disease… but most of them have not been discovered yet.

Heath and wellness is soon to be, if it’s not already, a trillion-dollar industry – and everyone and their dog wants a slice of that pie. Trouble is, most of those dollars will be made selling bullcrap to the ignorant. There are very few exceptions.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


¹ Woo is a term used among skeptical writers to describe pseudoscientific explanations that have certain common characteristics.


The Charmander Conspiracy

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Take one Pokemon, one impaired dude (no judgment, mate, seriously – we all do silly stuff now and then), and a community of delightfuly batshit-crazy redditors, and you have an explosion of recursive, gentle insanity that shows no sign of stopping.

Charmander

This is Charmander. He’s a cute Pokemon creature.

zBIjaeU

This is Charmander as envisioned by Vaughn Pinpin over at Hat Boy, in the style of Tim Burton.

yioKkAo

This is the result when you try to tattoo this on yourself, while fuzzed with alcohol and Xanax, and pretty much zero art skills.

KPVrxlQ

This is what happens when you post said tattoo to reddit, and stuff gets real in a hurry. Above: Digitized version of the tattoo.

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Vinylized version of the digitized tattoo

U4iGx1j

Teeshirt version of the vinylized digitized tattoo.

YHgW9y2

Plush version of the digitized version of the original tattoo

YHtW3y7

Jewelry version of the digitized version of the original tattoo.

Video version of “Crappy tattoo, I choose you!”

And the beat goes on. Mind you, all of this went down in less than 24 hours; who knows how many levels deep this inception-like mind-twister will go?

Not everyone is happy. Some people are like:

sandler6_

As for me, I’m curious to see how long this lasts.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Johnny Cash – Strawberry Cake

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Saw this image float by in a collection of so-called “rare photographs,” and wondered about the back story.

EsAcUDX

The Internet, of course, has its own answer for everything:

johnny-cash-eating-cake-in-a-bush-high

But that’s not the real story.

cake

The photo is from the back of Johnny’s album, “Strawberry Cake,” accompanied by this text:

“On a hot summer afternoon in New York City, June and I walked through the zoo in Central Park. It was a hot dog and ice cream day. The place was crowed and giving up on the Hassle of working our way through the crowd, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the concert that night at the Garden State Art Center. As we approached the hotel, I saw a bum lying on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. He never even opened his eyes when I stood over him, June said, “Come On Honey” But I said “just a minute” I walked around him, hoping he wasn’t dead. My shadow fell across him and when I moved on, I saw his eyes flutter as the bright sunlight hit his face. He didn’t open his eyes, but I knew he wasn’t dead. “What are you doing?” June asked “I’m thinking about my friend here, “I said” “that could be me, you know” June came over closer and smiled at me. “That was you a couple of times.” Then she said again, “Come on lets go” The rest of the story is in the song. I became that man. I put myself in his place and my mind, he finally won. I wish I knew who he is, and where he is. I’d send him a piece of Strawberry Cake.”

Below you can watch a Dinah Shore episode from 1975 where Johnny describes the origins of the song and sings it for your listening pleasure:

Lyrics:

In New York city just walking the street
Ran out of money had nothing to eat
I stopped at the Plaza, that fancy hotel
Where you can check in if you’re well to do well…
The first of July and a hundred and four
I stopped at the Plaza’s front revolving door
I stepped in the door and went around for a ride
Treatin’ myself to the cool air inside
Then I found myself in a chandeliered room
Where people were dining and I hid in the gloom
My hunger pains hurt ’til I thought I would break
When a waiter brought out a big strawberry cake

Oh that strawberry cake
Oh that strawberry cake
Out in California them berries were grown
And into this city them berries were flown
For making that strawberry cake

Then I thought of Oxnard, just north of LA
Where I picked strawberries for many a day
Hard work with no future for the harvest was done
And I headed eastward a-travelin’ by thumb
And nobody wanted me here in this town
I felt like a stray dog they all kick around
Them berries reminded me of my bad breaks
I’m hungry and I want that strawberry cake

I deserve that strawberry cake
Deserve that strawberry cake
I ran and I grabbed it then out the side door
Into Central Park through the bushes I tore
Holdin’ my strawberry cake

I look back behind me and what do I see
The chef and headwaiter and the maître d
I had a nice helpin’ of cake as I ran
I gobble them berries as fast as I can
They’re closin’ the gap as I slowed down to eat
But the cake brought a new surge of power to my feet
I hid in the bush when the lead I did take
And I quietly finished my strawberry cake

I ate all that strawberry cake
That fine fancy strawberry cake
Someone at the plaza is without dessert
But for the first time in days now my belly don’t hurt
I’m full of strawberry cake

The rest of the text on the album reads as follows:

“By your possession of this album, you can consider yourself having been present twenty years ago in 1955. At the start of a career and it sound at Sun Records Studio in Memphis Tennessee, as Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two cut their first record to a recently as September 1975. When Johnny Cash presented at London England’s Palladium his Johnny Cash Concert. From the standpoint of “Sound” to have been present at one would be the same as having attended the other. Times change, tastes change, and in order to conform some artists must change. Johnny Cash changed in keeping with the times; but as it turned out, not keeping with tastes. Many opinions were expressed to John and me, as to what should be done for the sake of conformity. Innovations were tried new arrangements, different material, engineering “gimmicks” but fortunately one item defied change. Through it all the voice and style remained constant and identifiable in some cases, nevertheless still there. If any change is perceptible in today’s recordings, as compared to those of twenty years ago, that change is of time as related to maturity of voice. This album, then, brings us around full circle. Back to the start of a career and sound. To point from which a digression was never needed. Here is what you have demanded. The basic honest, up-front Johnny Cash …. Better than ever.”

While I’ve never been the most devoted country fan – I’ve always preferred bluegrass – Johnny Cash stands out as a notable exception in my own playlists. He was a complex individual, one who was described as a “lens through which to view American contradictions and challenges.” (Miller, Stephen, Johnny Cash: The Life of an American Icon). 

Johnny’s music and his life and his relationship with his beloved wife June were sufficient to make him a larger-than-life figure who earned an indelible place in musical history. I’m glad I got to live in his era, and regret only that I never got to see him perform live in concert. His likes will not be there again.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Stacia A. Hylton, what are you going to do now?

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hylton-216

This is  Stacia A. Hylton, Directorn of the US Marshals Service.

south-gate-marshal-camera.si

This is a disgraceful scumbag, identified as a US Marshal, ripping a smartphone away from a woman who was recording police about 15 feet away. In the video this was captured from, he throws the device on the ground and kicks it away.

Ms. Hylton, since you don’t provide a general contact email address, this will have to be an open letter.

This individual has brought disgrace to your entire outfit, if your training program allows such wanton behavior. Reports say that federal agents are “investigating.”

Please, in the name of all that’s holy, don’t let this event fade away with a “proper procedure was followed.” How this abuse of power is dealt with will say a lot about your administration.

I will be watching.

The Old Wolf has spoken.



Malware download from “eBay GMBH” (German Ebay)

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Clearly not from the German version of eBay, but posting this here just in case anyone gets the same email and Googles for it.

Rechnung für [redacted] noch offen: Nummer 19879661
Sent By: Inkasso Ebay GmbH   On:Apr 04/22/15 12:59 AM
Forderung an [redacted].22 04.2015-Inkasso Ebay GmbH.zip (130 KB) | Download

Sehr geehrter Kunde [Redacted], Ihr Kreditinstitut hat die Kontoabbuchung zurück buchen lassen. Sie haben eine ungedeckte Forderung bei der Firma Ebay GmbH.

Aufgrund des bestehenden Zahlungsrückstands sind Sie verpflichtet außerdem, die durch unsere Beauftragung entstandenen Kosten von 43,90 Euro zu tragen. Wir erwarten die vollständige Zahlung bis zum 24.04.2015 auf unser Bankkonto. Namens unseren Mandanten fordern wir Sie auf, die offene Forderung sofort zu begleichen. Bei Fragen oder Unklarheiten erwarten wir eine Kontaktaufnahme innerhalb des gleichen Zeitraums.

Bitte beachten Sie, dass keine weitere Mahnung erfolgt. Nach Ablauf der Frist wird die Akte dem Gericht und der Schufa übergeben. Eine vollständige Kostenaufstellung, der Sie alle Buchungen entnehmen können, ist beigefügt.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen

Inkasso Voigt Marlon

Achtung: Dies ist ein Betrug. Keine angehängten Dateien öffnen!

Summary: I have an open invoice because of a declined charge with Ebay Germany. If I don’t pay immediately, a collection company will come after me and I’ll be reported to the General Credit Protection Agency. Notice that ZIP file up there in red, supposedly an invoice. Unzip it, and there’s another zip file. Unzip that, and there’s a file called

[redacted] Forderung 22.04.2015 – Inkasso Ebay GmbH.com (meaning, supposedly, a demand for collection.)

That’s a .COM file, or rather a simple executable file… in other words, a program. These are BAD NEWS for anyone who is foolish enough to open them. They’re just as bad as .EXE files. NEVER OPEN AN EXE OR COM FILE UNLESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS AND WHOM IT’S FROM.

Interestingly enough, I ran a virus check on this file and it came up with nothing. However, submitting it to VirusTotal.com came up with this:

viruses

In other words, it’s a nasty. The anti-virus programs indicated came up with multiple offenders for this file – one example that I followed for illustrative purposes was Packed.Win32.Katusha.o, which is a Trojan that can connect to a remote IRC server once it has infiltrated a PC. Packed.Win32.Katusha.o will download harmful files from the server that will damage the infected machine even further.

If you run this insidious program, you have just opened wide a door to the criminal element, and your computer will be infected with keyloggers, other trojans, made part of a botnet of spamming computers, infected with the dreaded CryptoLocker, or who knows what else. It will, at the very least, cause you inconvenience, and at the very worst destroy all your files, give criminals access to your personal data and/or your email accounts, and cost you lots of money. These people are horrible individuals. They want only one thing – to make money at your expense, and they don’t care how they do it.

Don’t ever fall victim to them.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


“Boom?”

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And therein lies a tale.

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The above photo, found at reddit, illustrates he beginning of the construction of the Empire State Building in 1930. The top half of the image shows steam shovels carving away a hole for the foundation. Since Manhattan’s bedrock, ideally suited for the foundations of large skyscrapers, is closer to the surface in midtown and by the Battery, blasting was used to move that rock out of the way. (Historical note: the theory that this bedrock depth was responsible for the clustering of skyscrapers in those areas is giving way to other economy-based theories).

The procedure for this blasting was to drill holes in the rock face, have steam shovels cover up the area to be cleared with huge blankets made of twisted steel cables at least 1″ in diameter, and let fly. The resounding “whump!” was audible for blocks. The blankets were then removed, and the rubble cleared away by Mike Mulligan, Mary Jane, and friends. I loved watching this process as a kid, and construction companies would put windows in the walls around the building site so that rubberneckers could enjoy the spectacle. I was grateful to see these photos, as clear pictures of the process are difficult to find.

Earlier in life, however, there was a downside.

When I was about two, my parents lived in an apartment on Madison in the 90s. My room was next to the kitchen. One day I remember wandering into the darkened kitchen and beginning to play (I’m sure I had been forbidden to touch!) with the gas stove. It was cool to turn the knobs and watch the flame come on, and then turn them off and watch the blue fire dance around the burners before going out.

Remember this was in the early 50s: the oven had no automatic lighter, but you had to turn it on and stick a match down a hole in front to ignite the burner. I, however, knew nothing of that – all I know is that I must have turned that central knob, and when nothing happened, go back to the other four. However, the oven was filling up with gas, and the next time I turned on a burner, the inevitable happened.

With a roar, the gas-filled oven exploded. I was saved from serious injury by the fact that the oven door was taller than I was… when it blew open, it hit me on the forehead and I lost the front of my hair and my eyebrows, gathering a significant cut in the process, but my face and body were protected from the flames by the door itself.

I’m sure my parents were scared spitless, and relieved that I handn’t been killed outright. But my mother reported to me later in life that for a long time thereafter, when one of those construction blasts went off, my eyes would get as big as saucers, and I’d look at her, and ask “Boom?”

To this day I still don’t respond well to loud noises or being startled. I wonder if there’s a residual effect going on there? The most accurate of all Sun Microsystems “fortune” lines, at least for me, is “You will be surprised by a loud noise.”

Works every time.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Dear Congress: In case you forgot, reproductive freedom is the law.

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In January of 2015, Washington DC approved D.C. ACT 20-593, effectively modifying the Human Rights Act of 1977 to ensure that people could not be discriminated against for their use of reproductive technologies (contraception, in-vitro fertilization, etc.). To wit:

“(c) For the purposes of this section, the term “reproductive health decisions” includes a decision by an employee, an employee’s dependent, or an employee’s spouse related to the use or intended use of a particular drug, device, or medical service, including the use or intended use of contraception or fertility control or the planned or intended initiation or termination of a pregnancy.”

On April 8th of this year, Joint Resolution H.J. Res. 43 issued by congress “disapproves” of the DC amendment.

It appears that Congress is trying to pry open the door allowing bosses to fire workers if they disagree with their employees’ reproductive choices.

Let no one think that by my posting this that I am in favor of abortion. With the exception of rare medical conditions affecting mother and/or child, or in cases of rape or incest, I sincerely wish people would opt for adoption. But until SCOTUS overturns Roe v. Wade, it’s legal, and employers have no right to discriminate against anyone for their reproductive behavior.

The ACLU may be taking things a bit too far with this article, which trumpets “Congress Just Launched Its First Strike Against Women and LGBT People Under the Guise of Defending Religious Liberty.” On the other hand, knowing how polarized the political and theological divide in this country is, they may be spot on. Only time will tell.

I could think of a hundred issues that I’d rather see Congress spending their time on.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Phishing: Watch those URLs

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Today in my Yahoo! mail account:

Yahoo

If you click that “Sign In” link, you get taken to

http://www.oficinadentalpr.com/includes/drpbx/db/%5Bobfuscated%5D.php&#8221;

which is apparently a dental office in Brazil. (I tried contacting them to let them know that their website had been compromised, but their contact page seems to be malfunctioning.)

At any rate, this is what you get:

Yahoo2

Which leads you to the regular “Enter your critical personal information and credit card and bank data” page.

The ongoing lesson: Don’t click embedded links in emails. Just don’t.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Music: Chilling passages

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If this were one of the notorious clickbait websites, the title of the article would be “Five Musical Passages That Will Give You an Orgasm!”

But I have an elemental aversion to clickbait, so I’ll just share a few musical pieces with you that are guaranteed to give me gooseflesh. No matter how many times I listen to them.

In passing, those chills you get when listening to whatever piece of music gives you a rush come from a release of dopamine, the same pleasure chemical responsible for the joys of food, sex, and other more substantive things.

Note: These are not listed in any particular order – all of them can be my favorite at any given moment.

1) Allegri’s Miserere

Wait for the high “C.” Something like having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick, if that sounds familiar and you can relate.

2) Liszt: Les Préludes

The part that makes me weep begins at 14:02, but the whole piece is like Sara Lee’s All-Butter Frozen Brownies to my soul.

3) Beethoven’s Symphony No. 6 (Pastorale)

This is the piece that was responsible for my first “music-gasm,” as it were, at a very young age – and Walt Disney is responsible. His use of this piece in the masterpiece Fantasia captivated me like nothing else had in my short 8 years.

The bit that always grabs me begins at 3:00 in the above clip, but the entire symphony is breathtaking. I know my parents listened to a lot of classical and broadway music when I was a baby, but this piece is the one that cemented my life-long love of classical music, and particularly that of Beethoven.

4) Barber: Adagio for Strings

Just this whole piece. If ever I feel like calling up melancholy anguish for the sorrows of the world, this is my go-to piece.

5) Beethoven’s Sonata 21 in C Major, Op. 53 (Waldstein)

Again, der Allermeister. Listen to Claudio Arrau knock my socks off, starting at 22:35, and then go back and listen to the entire masterpiece.

it goes without saying that there are many, many others – but these are some of the ones that come back to over and over again.

These are my favorites; go hunting, and find some pieces that move you in the same way.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


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